Low Swing

After a few days of optimistic euphoria, I've come down into what I now recognize as the precursory stages of depression. I need to get out of this. I'm living in regrets right now, I so badly wish that after so long the death of my relationship hadn't been such a horror filled tragedy fest. I'm such a fucking skeeze. Okay, I know deep down that I'm not that bad of a guy but what I did was really fucking scummy. I went to the pool last night with Matt & Jay and I couldn't help but think of the cute girl in the yellow bikini way back like 4 years ago. Holy shit, it's been 4 years since then. I missed her again today when I was walking downtown with Matt. I proved to myself that what was said about it only being about the sex wasn't true. I don't miss the sex the most; I miss my best friend. Stop fucking crying Jordan. Fuck. I quit, see everyone tomorrow at the English Exam.