The List of 05

five things i did for the first time this year

1. Went to the Grey Cup
2. Loved School
3. Drove Alone
4. Wrote a Play
5. Gave a Shit About Other People

five things i'm looking forward to in '06

1. working
2. Stagecraft
3. Trying out for the VI Raiders
4. The Line That’s Picked Up A Thousand Babes
5. Stage Managing again

best household additions in '05

1. My Stratocaster
2. My Computer
3. My Double Bed
4. My Mixer
5. My Condensor Mic

five things within my grasp that delight me

1. My New Leatherman
2. My Kick-ass Headphones
3. Ryan Adams CDs
4. My Thrifty’s Application
5. A working wireless router so I can do this upstairs on my comp soon.

five things i lost in '05

1. My faith in democracy
2. My sanity
3. My soul
4. Football Games
5. My fear of life

six people who really had my back this year

1. Biff
2. Geoff
3. Ashley
4. My Sister
5. My Mom
6. Trish

five things i should be doing right now instead of writing this list

1. Turning in said Thrifty’s Application
2. Cleaning my room
3. Laundry
4. Appealing my Student Loan
5. Finding out where the party’s at tomorrow

in oh-five, I:

stayed single the whole year
got your first kiss
kissed someone new
made-out for the first time
made-out in/on a car
kissed in the snow
kissed in the rain
fell in love
had your heart broken
broke someone else's heart
had a stalker
had a good relationship with someone
questioned your sexual orientation
came out of the closet
gotten pregnant
gotten someone else pregnant
had an abortion
gotten married
had a divorce
had a gay marriage
kissed someone of the same sex
dated someone you'll never forget
done something you've regretted
lost your true love
lost faith in love
kissed under mistletoe
got a promotion
got a pay raise
changed jobs
lost your job
quit your job
dated a co-worker
dated your boss
dated your boss' daughter/son
got fired from your job
got straight As
met one teacher you really like
met one teacher you really hated
found the subject you love
failed a class
cut class
skipped school
got into a fight with a classmate
did something you were proud of
discovered a new talent
gave the teachers a reason to teach
proved yourself an idiot
embarassed yourself in front of the class
fell in love with a teacher
got a lead in the school play
made a varsity team
were involved in something you'll never forget
got sent to the office
painted a picture
wrote a poem
ran a mile
listened to music you couldn't stand
double-dipped
skinny-dipped
went to a sleepover
went to camp
threw a surprise party
laughed till you cried
laughed till you peed in your pants
flirted shamelessly
visited a foreign country
visted a foreign state
cooked a disasterous meal
lost something important to you
got a gift you adore
realized something new about yourself
went on a diet
tried to gain weight
dyed your hair
came close to losing your life
someone close to you died
went to a party
drank alchohol
drank alchohol underage
did drug(s)
got drunk
got arrested
read a great book
saw a great movie
saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
saw your favorite band/artist live
saw someone famous in person
did something you want to tell everyone
enjoyed this

Christmas Countdown

So just before I fly out for Kelowna tomorrow, I thought I'd update this one more time before I go. I just realized today why I've been so disillusioned with the whole Christmas season. It's become so cliche and commercial that with all the forced sentiment I think I had lost all faith in what Christmas was supposed to be about. But today I saw a story on the news that tried so hard to be false with cheesy piano music and everything. But even with all the added in cheese and slow-motions and shit what was really there was so powerful I actually choked up. All it was was people being interviewed at an airport about who they were waiting for and how long it had been since they'd seen each other. They then filmed the people greeting each other and it has to be the most touching thing I have ever seen. It made me realize how much I can't wait to step off that plane tomorrow and give my Mom a big hug. It also made me feel bad that tomorrow I will see my mom, but Alleah will be spending the holidays without hers. I hope she's doing alright. I just hope she knows that even when we all go our seprate ways for a while all of us will be thinking about her in the days to come.

So to every one of my friends who reads this, don't take this time for granted. Think about how different things could be and how suddenly they can change. Think about your friends and family and make sure you tell them just how much they mean to you. The time we have together is so short don't let it pass you by too quickly.

So from me, to you, here's a truly sincere thank you for being a part of my life.

Merry Christmas All.

I am a Pirate King....

Man Biff cracks me up. Auditions for The Oresteia were last night, I purposely went in with some of my B rate material because I'm not that interested in even getting a part. I memorised the monologue the day before and performed it pretty badly. My song turmed out terrible because I hadn't warmed up at all. Hopefully if I do get a part it will be something small. I really wish thay hadn't split us up into groups because I really wish I could have seen everybody's monologue and songs. I saw Pam's and Lee's before the audition so at least I got to see those. Seeing the people at the production table made me kind of upset because I wanted to be the other ASM for this show and if I get cast then I can't be. Why did I let Eliza talk me into audtioning? I've done a huge role already this year and I didn't sign up for this program to act. I want to part of the crew side. I want to wear all black and stalk around in the shadows. That's what I enjoy.
On the other hand I was really proud of Ashley I thought her monologue and song went really well despite her nerves. Biffs song was hands down my favourite though. He just went up there and totally sold out. I respect him alot for not showing his frustration with the dance audition as much as I was doing. I just couldn't believe they'd expect us to memorize a two and a half minute piece of bellyh dance choreography in 20 mins. Normally at one of these auditions there's maybe a one minute peice or you learn about for different combinations and repeat them a couple times. This was crazy. I was at a loss to say the least.
Oh and I totally failed my music final. oops I thought it would be easy. Oh well from here on out it's stuff I know anyway.

Narcissist signing out.

Cuz You Had A Bad Day...

Yesterday was, as Ashley and I called it, a "Bad Day" in general. It started as a 6 am football practice where I ended up doing basically nothing. English class was terrible, I had finished my review of Oliver Parker's Othello and of course, as per usual, I had to read it out in class. Why is it there's only like 3 people in that class with any writing skills? What a bunch of illiterate peons.

I am now frantically trying to kill a fly that is attacking my computer screen, FUCK OFF!!

Speaking of annoyances, James just about lost everything today. He said right in front of Ash and Biff that if he had directed "The Line That Picked Up A Thousand Babes (And How It Can Work For You)" he would have stripped the pre-cast people and recast the whole thing according to "talent"!! How the hell does anyone have the gall to say that in front of people's faces who are acting in the show? I submitted that show so that Geoff, Biff, and I could work together on a show. Plus they're perfect for the roles they're in. Biff and Ashley were not suprisingly miffed at that comment. If he says anything like that again Ashley's gonna heave him.

I'm so sad Ashley is leaving in February. She has become one of my best friends in the program. At least she's staying until the end of One-Acts soI get to act in two shows with her and SM the one she's directing. So we'll get to hang out alot before then. I'm really happy that she's so excited to go, she's so awesome. I think she was pretty discouraged by the lack of turnout at auditions. But hey everyone has bad days. At least acting was fun.

"If you ever feel enchanted..."

So I recorded "Want Me More" today, well most of it anyway. It's still minus a solo, and bass and drum parts. But what I got down is pretty stellar. It's stuck in my head right now so it must be pretty catchy. It's so nice to record songs, It's one of the greatest feelings ever to listen to something that you've entirely created. It must be what artists feel when they look at the final version of their painting.

I'm really bored right now, I should be doing my English essay revisions but that just doesn't appeal to me. So I'll just sit here at the computer eating a mountain of perogies and reading random peoples blogs. My favourite blogs are the ones where people post found pictures and notes and stuff. I think that's really cool. Finding other peoples pictures is so interesting because as the old axiom goes they are worth a thousand words. But if you have no context then they can be really funny. I think perogies are the greatest food of all time.

So me and T are almost comeletely back together, it feels so right when we're togteher. But there's still that little fucking voice whispering in my ear about the freedoms of being single. I wonder sometimes if getting back with T is just the easy solution. I'm afraid the same old issues will keep resurfacing. And by the way what the fuck does Lisa know about anything? How dare she try and weigh into a situation that is none of her buisness and then smile to my face? Bitch.

Someone Else's Star

If life were like a fairy tale wouldn't we all get bored? Maybe stop trying so hard at everything. And if one perfect moment led into the next perfect time then maybe all we would have is sorrow. So maybe I can't give you the stars, you don't see how lucky we are. If the reflection's of love could dazzle your eyes so blind then your not really seeing anything at all are you. Have you stopped looking because I haven't. I still believe in you more than anything else. Jealousy was never your strong suit and it's an ill-tailored one at that. Well maybe not jealousy, perhaps just envy. And if I could stand screaming and yelling it wouldn't ring as loud as one moment of percieved silence. So if you take your eyes from the stars and look what you picked up from the ground. Maybe you'd realize just how thankful he is for what you did, and who you are. I'm sorry if I'm not what you wanted, I'm just me. The flawed goods you restored are still here deep down and they look at you the same way. Someone else isn't living your stars, your star is just living for you, and you can't see it.

I'm Wrong And I'm Sorry

So this vacation turns out to be just what the Doctor ordered. I can feel the tiny muscles that hold my spine steeled and rigid beginning to relax. I'm mad because the TD Bank website is fucking me around and not letting me deposit money from my Mom. So therefore the $1600 I just dropped on a computer is hurting a bit more than it should. But it is quite the nice comp. I can't wait to get recording again. I've got a couple songs in me that need to come out but I guess they're not quite ready yet. So I'll let them stew for a while.

I really can't wait to get back in school. It's like there's been a hole in everything since I've been doing a job that requires very little brain output. Now I get to focus in on what's really important to me, and as an added bonus take courses that I'm actually interested in, amazing. I really cannot wait for The play to be done, mainly because I'm going to see Pearl Jam the next night. I'm so stoked to go see a concert again. I haven't been to a big show since I saw John Mayer with Trish over a year ago.

Well, that's about it for today,

The Narcissist requires you to take it easy.

From Barbara...

Fingers: Jordan Davies
Chin: odaanb dxazvis
One Finger With Eyes Closed: jorsdav davisd
Cheek: o4v5rdzq1hy ecd nmcx
Elbow: jordan dasvioers
Palm: jortdfan dfaviersd
Back of Hand: jordan davies
Nose: jordan davies

Thank god for protruding knuckles and an accurate nose :)

It's Back

Well I finally recovered my username, hopefully I won't forget it again. Only three weeks left of work YAY!! Then a two week vacation before work starts. I'm getting my license and my car so it's all good!! I don't get to see Trish enough and I guess having Jen here will make it even more of a challenge to have alone time. Persist we must though. I'm sick but I refuse to believe it's whooping cough although it might be a lesser version due to the fact that I've been vaccinated against it. Hopefully everyone will recover so we can finish the South Pacific run with a bang. I'm finally starting to get into my chorus role. The last show I did was great. My personal best for sure. I can't wait to have a vacation though. Counting down to Aug. 20th.

Thumbs Up For War Amps

I chopped off the tip of my left thumb at work today. The same left thumb I use to play anything at all on guitar. ARGH. I won't be doing any handsprings tomorrow. It's really ugly. So me and Biff are both in the cripple crew, him with his split toe, and me with my thumb. what great dancers we'll make tomorrow. Hopefully this wil heal by Tuesday when I'm scheduled to go back to work. If not, Worker's Comp. for sure.

Our porch is done, so Biff won't be falling through it anymore, (It's A Good Thing). And those boys should definitely be coming over for a couple drinks tomorrow after rehearsal. Oh and I registered for classes at Malaspina today, I get to take History of North American Music as an elective (How cool is that?).

Anyway, The Narcissist must be going now,

Tooodle OOO , Wot Wot

Put On Your Sunday Clothes

Perhaps an introduction first. If you don't know me my name's Jordan and I'm extremely odd. That's about all you need for now, as this goes on you'll see the extent. Not much happened today. Trish came over and we hung out then went to Tim Hortons for lunch before my Dad drove us up to rehearsal in Parksville where we reviewed a bunch of stuff that I already know perfectly well and I was starting to get pissed off because we were going over the same shit like thirty times and I got it right the first time. bah.

Then we ran the entirety of Act 1, I really hate this play (South Pacific)!! It blows. the cast is great and I like working on it, but the actual show is so longwinded it makes me want to scream. The songs drag on FOREVER and never seem to say anything new just keep repeating themselves over, and over and over, while we in the background stand there looking like complete idiots while the soloist goes into fits of semi-poetic wordy trash. The whole show has no defining message, the music is completely uninspired. I don't know how this became a classic. It's BORING!! So Boring.

The worst thing is that I am having trouble balancing bertween work and the show. I never had this problem last year but this year it's fucking with me. I'm working like a dog and trying to reahearse a show around it, and it's driving me insane. I just want school to start in September so I can finally just focus on one thing and not have so many demands and not enough time for them all. I am tired and all I want to do is just cut everything off but I can't all I can do is just bear with it and hope to ride it out and come away semi-healthy on the other side.


Tomorrows an office move so therefore I have a complete lack of weekend. Oh well the rehearsal was survived, and here I am, back at home wishing I had more 19+ year old friends to go out and have a beer with me. Oh well such is life I guess. I'm running low on funds because I have no way to get to the bank, and my lame boss decided to not leave my cheque for me yesterday so I have to wait 'til tomorrow when the banks open and I actually have my next cheque in order to have some money in the bank. Not that I'll have much, as most of it will end up in a savings account towards tuition and books and shit.

I really want a new tube amp too. But I suppose a new acoustic that doesn't kill my fretting hand is more important than that. And school is a little more important than that so the GAS (Gear Acquisition Syndrome) will have to wait. I love my Dad's new guitar it puts any other acoustic to shame. I will own it one day, but in order for that to happen my dad would have to kick it. So I can wait 40 or so years I guess. Maybe I'll buy one for myself before then eh?

Oh well just more random shit in the life of your favourite narcissist.

Later