"Hey, At Least You Didn't Get Somebody's Name"

So today I woke up and proceeded to invite Tasha out for consequetive meals depending on the time...I made it to lunch. "Breakfast" and "Brunch" are apparently non existant in some peoples vocabularies. So I went and picked her up and we headed to MGM for foodstuffs. I had my usual Eggs "Pope" but the Hash browns were just a mangled baked potato WTF? Tasha had her prerequisite French Toast and Bacon. After that we hit departure bay and Piper's lagoon for some Walk On The Ocean time. Went to Woodgrove so that Tash could sort out the $100 cancellation fee for her cell phone that she apparently shouldn't have to pay but apparently she cancelled her plan three days before her contract was up so they still made her pay the $100. shitty deal. So then I dropped her off @ home and headed home. Drove to harewood for some slurpee. Then headed home. So here I am sweltering in the heat and wondering if I would be flattered or scared if somebody got my name tattooed to them at random. I know how I feel about having the person you like get somebody else's now. Like I should just give the fuck up. Should I just give up? When you do that you don't just affect yourself you affect those around you too. I still can't believe it.

A is for age: 20
B is for Booze of choice: Jack & Coke
C is for career: Sound Technician
D is for your dog's name: Sweet!! I Have A Dog?
E is for what you use everyday: The Shower
F is for favorite song at the moment: Rooftops & Invitations - Dashboard Confessional
G is for favorite games: Mario 3
H is for hometown: New Westminster, BC
I is for instruments you play: Guitar, Saxophone, Some Drums, Voice
J is for jam or jelly you like: Tropical Triple Fruits
K is for Kids: No Babay, No babay, No babay...
L is for last kiss: Tasha
M is for most admired trait: confidence but not over-confidence
N is for the name of your crush: See L.
O is for overnight hospital stays: Once for Food Bourne Illness
P is for phobias: Being buried alive / trapped
Q is for quotes you like: "There is not one shred of evidence to support the theory that life is serious"
R is for biggest regret: 80's party. and not playing football after high school
S is for sweets of your choice: Powerbars?
T is for the time you wake up: 8:30-9
U is for underwear: Boxers
V is for vegetable you love: Tomatoes
W is for What the fuck happened to the question for W?
X is for x-rays you've had: Finger/Teeth
Y is for yummy food you make: everything I make is yummy
Z is for zodiac sign: Libra

So Far So Good

The fading of the selected letters is moving along quite nicely...

BEFORE...

NOW...

For Good, For Glory, Good Is ________

So yeah, I fucked up while checking the spelling on my tattoo. The last word has an extra "A" in it so technically the word has no meaning. So four hours after completion of my tat I find myself back in the chair getting a portion of two letters "mulched" so that the ink won't take. This hurts a hell of a lot more than the tatoo itself, exponentially so. So on August 21st I go back in to get it fixed. Lesson here kids, look very carefully and make sure all the words in your tattoo are spelled right. Otherwise you will end up with a bloody seeping wound in your body to go with your tattoo.


In other news my CD player in my car merely had a burnt out fuse so now I have tunes in the ride. sweetness. Oh and i was approved for a student loan of $10, 880.00 holy crap.

Waiting On The World To Change

So Jordan is officially mobile as of today. Went and put insurance on my car, and then picked up Tasha and headed up to Errington. Visited Ky for a bit, he was looking decidedly squirrelly and apparently was punched in both eyes by the Orthodontist. ;) Apres A-Frame, headed to Coombs where Tasha and I wandered around and ate grapes and played stickball and talked. it was nice. She was decidedly sexy today having a heart monitor strapped to her chest with lotsa wires sticking out. "Top Drawer!!" Yeah so drove back to Nanaimo while Tash slept in the passenger seat. Drpped her off at home, went to Canadian Tire and bought a rear-view mirror that actually works. Headed to my dad's place and used his heat gun and some goo-gone to scrape off the palm tree decals on my cars windows. They are no more. Installed my new mirror. I can see out the back now yay. Then headed home. All in all a pretty butt kicking day in general. I think i might go swimming. hmmm. Or maybe for a workout at mal. yeah that's more likely. Later y'all.

UPDATE: Went to the gym for a bit. My new rear-view doesn't want to stay on so I have to get more adhesive to try and make it work. Crap. Anyway, life is good. If a little confusing.

YAY!!!

Today I spent $100 and by doing so will see John Mayer in concert again. But this time from fucking FLOOR SEATS!! YEAH!!! September 22nd baby. I am so stoked.

If It Is Born In Flames Then We Should Let It Burn

I'm in a very strange place right now. All of my expectations and aspirations lately have flipped themselves around in strange ways. I should really stop setting myself up so much because when all of your plans fall through it's that much more dissapointing. I know I'm gonna be okay with this but it still sucks. Whatever, love is too complicated to try and make any sense of apparently so why the hell do I try. In other news I've started talking to Trish again which is nice. It's nice to have someone who knows you so well you don't have to explain your point of view to them they already understand. I'm pretty worried about one of my friends because they seem to be caught in the same sort of cycle of depression I was in a few years ago. I'm also concerned about another friend who is trying their best to help but is absolutely drowning in this and thats not really fair. It seems life has caught up to alot of people right now and everyone is fighting their way back to the surface. Ahhh the quarter-life crisis. Welcome to the suck.

Finish the sentence:
1. My ex is: one of the nicest people I know.
2. I am listening to: Death Cab For Cutie
3. Maybe I should: stop obsessing.
4. I love: to fall asleep so I can dream.
5. My bestfriend(s) is/are: Matt/Jay/Brennan/Ky
6. I don't understand: you.
7. I lost: my hope of this being easy.
8. People say: the dumbest things.
9. The meaning of my screen name: "She Just Might Get You Lost. And She Just Might Leave You Torn. But She Just Might Save Your Soul" Lyrics from the new Dashboard Confessional album, pretty much sums things up right now.
10. Love is: "what I got, said remember that" - Sublime
11. Somewhere, someone is: trying desperately to be strong
12. I will always try to be: the bigger man
13. Forever seems: "to be around when things begin, but never around when things end" - Ben Harper
14. I never want to: forget how you look when you sleep
15. My cell phone: has a better ringtone than Barbara's
16. When I wake up in the morning, I: wish I didn't have to get up
17. I get annoyed: when people don't respect themselves
18. Parties are: a certain way to make me feel alone in my own head
19. My Dog is: waiting for me in the future
20. Kisses are the best when: in the middle of a sentence
21. Today I might: just veg out alone
23. Tomorrow I will: work a closing shift
24. I really want: what I can't have
25. I am: alienated

Kinda Drunk...

So forgive in advance any spelling mistakes. Today I worked a closing shift and then went and got free beer at this party that Lucid records and clothing was throwing for Vice magazine...me and matt got pretty drunk all said. I'm seriously questioning the maturity of some people in my life right now. It's like they are looking through a tinted mirror that distorts everything into a shape they can accept. I'm really understanding the meaning of freindship more lately and how some people misconstrue the people they hang out with as their friends. A friend is someone understanding and accepting no matter what. A friend is somebody who will listen and care no matter what is going on otherwise. I have evaluated my "friends" and I know who will be there for me through thick and thin. Remember, a friend is someone who will always build you up. A true friend will never yell at you, or tell you that you're decisions are wrong. A true friend may ADVISE you when they think your course of action is precarious but they will never try to forcibly steer you in any direction. I think in any relationship there must be true friendship first and friendships (as well as relationships) must be free of judgement and full of support. I suggest you look hard at who you consider to be your friends and ask yourself if they truly deserve to have you as a friend. Are they fiercely loyal and would they be willing to support you no matter what you have done? If not these are not your friends; These are people paying lip service to you to fulfill some alterior motive. Your friends will accept you and everything that comes along with you including those who you chose to be close with. Do not blind yourselves with the past but take a cold hard look at the present and ask yourself "is this where I wish I could be?" if not....change your life. You have the control.

Lacks The Initiative...

to write lengthy blogs. So I'm stuck in summary mode. The biggest news in my life right now is that I have purchased a car!! I am the proud owner of an orange automatic 1988 Honda Accord. I take possesion next Friday when my next paycheck comes in. I am seriously stoked. I took it on a test drive around Nanaimo with Jared, dropped in to see Geoff, dropped by Tasha's but she wasn't home. Took it for a burn on the highway. For a car with this many clicks it absolutelly purrs :) Lucky for me the owner before the person I'm buying it off of was a mechanic, who rebuilt the engine about a year ago. I went to Trish's 18th b-day later that night and didn't drink anything, very proud of myself. Had good chats with Alleah and with Trish about the stuff that's going on in my personal life and it helped alot to hear that I'm not crazy lol. Trish just told me not to let these difficulties destroy the improvements I've made to myself since we split up. I'm not going to let that happen. The new improved actually giving a shit about other people Jordan is here to stay. I just don 't want my new found nature to mean I get taken advantage of.

Well that's all you're getting out of me today. Much love.

Listening To: Making Enemies - Snow Patrol

Profile Pic

So This Is The Part Where We Start Over

So due to some talking with friends, about equal amounts of whom were representing each side of the argument, I decided to forgive. I think so far this has been the right decision. I am really enjoying the time we spend together and I would really have missed out if I had severed all contact as I was almost rash to do. It's like one of my favourite sayings goes, "In every decision you make in your life you have but two choices. You can choose hate; or you can choose love. I choose love." I will not choose hate, this has been my goal for the past few months or so, and I think it's really working out for the best. Even when certain people are quick to hate me for extremelly immature reasons. I can still chose not to hate them in return. Lyric time, "I believe that my life's gonna see/ the love I give returned to me." I really wish certain of these people would try to be less petty about this whole thing. I know there are feelings involved on all sides and I repect that but to hate me for liking someone and treating them well is just crazy. I have done nothing to earn such animosity. And to not believe her when she tells you she hasn't done something (which she hasn't) is just a perfect example of a lack of trust. Just think this stuff has to be said. I'm really happy with the way things are right now, and if that should change I will adapt but right now I'm doing the best I can for her and for me.

What It Is To Burn...

ARRRRGGHHHHHH!!! How the fuck could you do that to me? Goddamnit I just don't understand why someone else had to tell me. Why couldn't you do it? Made a fool outta me again. Last chance, hero. You made your choice now stick with it. i'm nobody's bitch and you just threw away something good for what was easy. Congrats. I hope you got what you wanted out of me. Shame on me for thinking we might have something. You are obviously too scared of something actually working out for the better. I hope you enjoy your life of monotony and angst.

"So Are You Guys Dating?"...."Well I think I'm Dating Her. But I'm Not Sure If She's Dating Me"

hahaha I love my conversations with Matt. So anyway. Did sound for the indie show last night which was a rockin' good time. Happy Canada Day everbody. I sadly have to work a closing shift tonight...boourns. But I hope everyone else has a good time celebrating the amazing country in which we live.

I Am Jack's Epidermal Cells...

I get cancer I kill Jack. Yeah okay so a couple days of sun soaking, some river. Some sun-burn, a little bit of food bourne illness. A splash of shopping. Some drinking and dancing. A little bit of casual confusion. Some extremelly comfortable tandem sleeping followed by some extreme lip-biting. One day of totally crashing out around the house. Board games night at R+K's and waking up this morning still alive.

Fucking great.

Life is good.

Really Great Day

So today has been fantastic. I got up at 6. worked from 7-11. came home did the dishes, cleaned my room and did some laundry. Then Tasha and I went to bible camp. Hell yeah. We were the heathens representing. We got to watch a baptism and so swimming and do a rope swing and eat burgers and cake. And have people wonder whether or not I'm "just" Tasha's friend. It was cool. Got to meet Tasha's dad and sister as well. Apparently I was described as "Freakishly Normal" (compared to Chris I guess). All the hardcore christ lovin' was a big childhood flashback for me. If case any of you don't know, my parents were both ministers while I was growing up. Yeah so I just kinda followed Tash around and we talked and what not. All in all I had a really good time. Oh and I have no idea what my fav song of all time is apparently.

For Laughs...

This Is Me In Grade 9 Baby...

Made A Fool Outta Me

Am I wasting my time persuing things with you? Because if you don't really give a shit about me then just say so. What happened last night was so wrong in so many ways. You left me hanging in the breeze and if there's one thing I don't like it's being manipulated and made to look like a fool. If you really want to see what could happen then you should spend some time getting to know me. Because if you knew me you wouldn't have led me on a wild goose chase at the expense of my better judgement.

More Boredom Comix...

So Bored...

Click On it For Larger Version...

Mystery Man? These Things Just cannot stand the hottness of my butt...

Home?

In the grand scheme of things my heart was never in Nanaimo. I always lived with the assumption that, no matter what, Victoria would always feel like home. I was wrong. I went back to Victoria last Monday and saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen in five years and went and saw my old houses and neighbourhoods. I realized that they weren't mine anymore. So here's the story frame-by-frame.

Monday June 5th 10:30 AM:

I board the greyhound south which I used to ride every second weekend when I would visit my mom throughout grades 11 and 12. I was excited to see some old friends and extremelly stoked to see the Bright Eyes show at the Royal Theatre. Driving through the outskirts of Victoria I took in the sights and locations from my childhood with vigour and excitement. I had finally come back where I belonged.

1:15 PM

Arrive in downtown Victoria; drinking in all the familiar sights and buildings. So excited for what's to come. My old best friend d'Arcy's dad picks me up and we go pick up my ticket and then run around doing some errands while d'Arcy is still at work. So we run around doing errands and whatnot and then decide to hit the Arby's in Mayfair mall where I randomly run into Leila who I apparently never told I was moving oops. That was five years ago. She basically assaults me as soon as she sees me which was nice :). We go pick up one of Dan's (d'Arcy's dad) prizes that he won on a radio call in show. I can't believe he's still as into those contests as he always was. We head out to Prospect Lake where d'Arcy's working on cleaning the moss off of a roof for his dad's company. I meet his buddies who also work for Dan's company. We head back to d'Arcy's place to wait out them finishing the house. Have a beer watch some Cold Mountain then head back to pick up d'Arcy. We all grab some booze head back to the pad and I have one beer and one barbequed burger before I gotta catch the bus downtown to the show.

7:00 PM

So I get downtown and I run into Chris Thompson and his gf standing out front of the Royal Theatre. I say hey and go look for a merch table of which there is none. Well I wait around and the opening band starts and turns out to be just one dude with a sampler making loops as he goes and building songs from them it was so cool. On one of the songs he was making a bunch of bird noises as a soundscape and he asked the audience if anyone could do a moose impression and he turned the mic to the audience and some dude yelled "MOOOOOOSSSEEEEEE!!!" and so for the rest of the song periodically there would be this big Moose call and a loop of everybody laughing afterward. Finally at the end of the song the dude sang MOOOOSSEEEEE into the mic and everybody cheered it was fucking great. So then Bright Eyes comes out and plays an amazing set. He played so many of my favs "Lover I Don't Have To Love", "Ship In A Bottle", "Take It Easy (Love Nothing)" I was so impessed with how they managed to replicate the music from Digital Ash In A Digital Urn with only a six piece band. The slide guitar player Mike Mogis was absolutely phenominal he also played lead guitar and Bass. I get out of the show head back to the bus stop and while I'm waiting for the Bus who walks by but MEGHAN!! I was like what are you doing here. Apparently she had been at the show too with her brother that's so cool. I hop off the bus a stop early and take a walk past the house I used to live in and I get this weird feeling looking at it and realizing how long it had been since I had lived there. I wander back to d'Arcy's and the whole walk feels like an odd case of deja vu. I look into a car window at my reflection and realize just how much I've changed since I moved away. This was no longer my neighbourhood. The playground of my youth had turned into a strange place. So I get to d'Arcy's and he's not there so Dan offers to drive me to Kevin's place who's another guy I went to school with. We see d'Arcy walking along the road and he says he's been at Maude Hunter's Pub and he was heading home. I tell him to get his ass back to the pub and have a beer with me. So we head in, and a beer turns out to be splitting two pitchers, I grab a Burger and fries. We walk home and crash out for the night.

8:30 AM Tuesday June 6th

In the morning d'Arcy leaves for work and I talk to Leila on MSN and she agrees to come over and pick me up so we head down to Cadboro Bay which is the beach I used to hang out at since I was like 10 years old. We walk along the ocean just talking about stuff that's happened to both of us in the past five years and where we're going in life. She's had a real rough time of it since I've been gone. Her dad committed suicide and she got involved with drug dealers and such. So we talk about stuff. I can't stop talking about Trish and how proud I am of all the stuff she's doing now. Leila asks me why were not still together if I care about her so much and I tell her the whole story and how much of an idiot I was and she tells me she's surprised I'd had two long term relationships over the five years considering I was always single in Vic and never commited to anything or anyone including her before I left. We grab some ice cream and sit down on the grass and talk some more. I think we were both so glad to see each other and so wierded out by it that things were kinda strange for a bit but it was still cool. She drives me downtown where I hit the Mountain Equipment Co-Op and buy a shirt some shades and a nalgene bottle. I head to Market Square where I hit Bead World and pick up some hemp and beads and a book on braiding hemp. I head to Sport Chek to see if my old buddy Nick is working.... he's not. I find out that my buddy Neil moved to Australia and my buddy Brian is now working construction after getting over a Cocaine habit. I eat lunch on the rooftop at The Sticky Wicket and almost buy a Wales National Team rugby jersey but it was really expensive so I declined. I grab the 4:45 greyhound home meet some charcters along the way and arrive home with some pretty great memories.

and upon getting home go on eBay and buy a Wales Rugby hat for $12.