Just Not Enough To Hang On
The sunset has faded before we ever had a chance to enjoy the light. What do you do when your best is not enough? It's like everything you put out was just washed away and you're left feeling so inadequate it pulls everything out all over again. If I had known it would have been for the last time, I would have kissed you a little longer just to remember it. One day I woke up and found that you had left me to stand here and pick up the pieces of myself that I put out for you. If you were confused then, you passed it so deftly on to me. I feel like I predicted this with the poem I wrote for you. You are the summer wind that so briefly brought happiness but now leaves me wondering what I could have done (if anything?) to make you choose me. But it's too late now. There's this wall in place of the effort it cost me to open myself up for something like this so soon.
this one is mine...
She Is The Wind
by J. P. Davies
Today she bends and squints her too-blue eyes
and guides boats across the harbour.
She slithers her fragile hand into mine
and dares me to wonder why.
I perch quietly, and knowingly slide my chin
slowly along her shoulder, kiss her neck.
Because today she will let me in
and tonight she'll come to bed.
When a new day comes she will dissapear
back into her world of glaring silences
to the places she has come to accept
as the purest stations of her life.
But in this tranquil night I watch her sleep,
in a sigh of fresh contentment
and wonder if she'll ever want to stay.
Will she ever need me too?
And in the morning when she leaves me
in the most beautiful of perfumes.
I'll lie back down and let a solitary tear
slide into the fabric of her pillow.
Because she is the wind,
that now blows across this ocean
and dances teasingly across my hands
before leaving me for brighter locales.
07/11/2006
Amazing for a grand total of about a week I was happier than I can remember being in a long time. But now there's just this space.
8 comments:
*heart* love sucks don;t it.it;s funny how one person can make you feel two very contrasiting emotins so quickly. but we just keep on trucken
The 4th stanza is exceptionally strong. Really struck a chord for me. ANd I really liked the final two lines, they proved an excellent conclusion. I know how you feel. SOmeone fills a void you didnt know you had, and when they're missing its like you were jello and they were a fork. (the imprints are still there. lol. I worked for 12 hours today after 3 hours sleep, so my simile is a little lacking)
I have to say, you are one amazing writing, Jordan. I am very impressed.
I also have to say that while I sympathize and empathize with your situation a la Tasha, I'm just a little annoyed that you don't have more appreciation for what you've got -- even if its not quite what you want. You have a much more fulfilling romantic life than I have probably ever had. Somehow girls get you, adore you, desire you, a whole lot more than they do me. Don't get me wrong, though, I don't mean to complain. I just think its important that we all take a step back from time to time and see the good things in our lives for what they really are -- good.
You have Tasha in your life now, whether thats in the capacity you desire or not. Your ex-girlfriend is one of your closest friends, the majority of whom seem pretty fantastic. Plus, you have some amazing abilities: on stage, with a guitar, and with words.
So, Jordan, feel whatever it is you feel about the situation with Tasha -- but remember that some of us just don't get to feel that way about someone, we don't often get the opportunity to be involved with someone let alone 'someone special.'
Yeah, thanks. I just recently had a very interesting conversation with a girl I used to realy care about in Victoria. I don't know why but the girls just fall into my lap at the weirdest times. I am blessed and I realize that. I have amazing friends and have had some meaningful relationships. It doesn't tstop this from hurting no matter what though. Thanks for your kind words.
That is very pretty. The feeling behind it is one I think many people can relate to. The words work.
you know, I never read poetry, but this is a really really good one, Jordan. I'm impressed...gender-based pronouns notwithstanding (:P), the feeling this poem facilitates is so relateable.
Good job.
And don't worry about the hurting...it won't last forever. :) *heart*
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