Well That Was Interesting

Woah Drama. Wow I found myself in all kinds of it last night. Weird. Gonna try and keep my head clear for the next little while, that was rediculous. I've found things can escalate while you are away from them and then they come back to you and they've been built up and blown way out of proportion. The situation now bears no resemblance to the one which gave it birth and all you have left is damage control. It must be some piece of the human perogative to give things more weight than they sctually deserve. maybe we all need to take a step back from what our mind is saying sometimes and wonder if that information is reliable or simply a creation of our own imaginations. Yeah, some stuff happened and some stuff got blown up, but in the grand scheme of things were those issues so important as to merit those over-the-top reactions? I really don't think so. I lost alot of respect for one of my friends last night. I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him for what he did. I know that there are pains and jealousies that can often times cloud our vision but there comes a time when you have to make the decision between following your first impulse and checking your self to do what is right. One of my friends checked himself last night, one did not. I have gained respect for one and lost it for another. The onus of control cannot be passed off on the substance. You are responsible for your actions no matter your condition. I connected with somebody last night that I had wanted to for quite some time. I don't know if anything will come of it, that's not what I did it for. I just don't want to ask myself "What if?". So therefore things had to be said that needed out. I'm not holding out for anything other than a friend. But having her as a closer friend would be better than never saying anything. I'm not holding out for anything. I have no unrealistic expectations. I just want to bring some sun back into my life, and I think she might be able to help. Maybe help me shed some of the darkness I've been living in. It made me happy to think of the future and not see a hole that needs filling but rather a space that says "Who knows?" Tomorrow will be ever different from today and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for making me smile kiddo.